Choice Partnering

Russell Wilkie, MA, LMFT

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Cell (408) 529-1975

Fax (408) 871-6875

700 Gale Drive
Suite 230
Campbell CA 95008

Office is in the San Jose California area

CHOICE PARTNERING

If you're an individual that's tired of ending up in the wrong relationship or you are a couple and you want to look at the true quality of your relationship, then give this exercise a go.

Imagine you have one chance (and only one chance) to choose a partner for the rest of your life. Are you going to just take what comes your way, or "fall into a relationship," or wake up one day and wonder how you ended up with someone that doesn't match you?

Exercise:

If you don't want it that way, then try this: Make a list of the 5 things you "must have" in a partner and a 30 item optional list. For example:
1. No substance abuse
2. Romantic
3. Spiritually connected
4. Financially stable
5. Is fun to be with

1. Likes volleyball
2. Likes romantic movies
etc...

Now, don't date someone unless they have the required 5 and at least 10 of your 30. If they don't pass the "must have" 5, then you have to cross them off the list of possible partners.

Many people fall in love with someone's "potential" or with a 40 item perfect match of optionals and only 4 of the 5 "must have" list. Unfortunately, the "must have" is a "make or break" the relationship issue. Love yourself enough to make sure you get what you want and need and deserve.